Parents worry as boy displays Conservative tendencies
The parents of a Norfolk child who is expressing Conservative tendencies have expressed alarm. “He’s turning alarmingly free market”, said mother Ida Cackbeans. “Which is worrying, as he’s only 4 and...
View ArticleLocal game stops as players realise no one is watching
The game between Shytte Rovers and Crapwater Snorkels in the Norfolk Exhaust Pipes League Division 2 came to an end yesterday after 32 minutes as players realised that nobody was actually watching...
View ArticleOld man reduces business from 500 employees to just 1
Six months ago, Shytte Management Facilities Ltd. employed 500 people and was booming. Today, it employs just one person, an elderly gentleman of 64 years who resolutely refuses to retire, despite...
View ArticleFire brigade reprimanded for fighting fire with fire
The local Shytte-on-Sea fire brigade has been given a “serious warning” after a blaze at the local fish shop turned nasty when they decided to fight fire with fire. The error was acknowledged by...
View ArticleLocal game turns ugly as players refuse to acknowledge each other
Yesterday’s grudge match between Shytte Rovers and Oxminster Acne ended 0-0 as all 22 players refused to acknowledge each other. A string of feuds and rivalries spilled over into a bitch-fest of...
View ArticleLocal man owed £5 by Greece
Shytte resident Barry Hawkwind is at the centre of a diplomatic storm, claiming that Greece still owes him £5 from last summer. The metal-grinding father of three claims that Greece approached him for...
View ArticleToff boy worried Liberal girlfriend is seeing scruffy socialist ex
A love triangle has captured the imagination of locals in the Norfolk village of Shytte. Local toff Quentin Carruthers-Quietly has voiced concerns over his new liberal girlfriend, Shirley Middleground,...
View ArticlePrimary school puts on Joy Division play
Children from Our Lady’s Shytte-on-Sea Primary School will be putting on a special school play to commemorate the music of popular early 1980s indie band, Joy Division. The play, which culminates in...
View ArticleLocal council announces partnership with widow of millionnaire King Moses Odiaka
Shytte local council has announced a “multi-million” dollar deal with the widow of deceased Nigerian millionnaire King Moses Odiaka. The deal, which came as a surprise to both the council and the...
View ArticleShytte Orthopaedic fans call for manager to quit after abject defeat
Fans of local side Shytte Orthopaedic have called for manager Frankie Acapella to step down after a humiliating defeat in a pre-season friendly against Bayer Arschloch of Germany. Acapella, who is...
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